Just Want to Cry.. (>.<)!!!

Ohmaigot! Today I just wanna cry and scream "WHY DO THIS HAPPEN TO ME??? WHY THIS VIRUS CAME & ATTACKED ME IN THE TIME I STILL ENJOY TO BREASTFEED MY BABY??" Hiks..(>.<)!!! Although I try to be calm and believe that God won't leave me & my baby even with this condition, I still feel sad.. This is not easy for me.. =(

All of this situation and condition began from last wednesday. I felt that my body was sick when I was still on my way to office with my husband. But I tried to ignore this and continued to office. And when I arrived, I felt that I would have a fever because my body was very warm. But,i kept to work and asked my husband to pick me up sooner. And yeah..when I arrived at home, I felt very weak and almost faint. The next day, I decided to take day-off to take a rest because I also had a fever. And since I still felt that I was not healthy yet, I decided to start working in the next week, which is this Monday. And thanks to God, that I could through it and back to work on Monday.

But......the problem seems to still exist here. Yesterday, suddenly I found that there's rash in my hands and my feet. I was shocked but then decided to go home sooner and visit a laboratory to do blood check. Thanks to my father-in-law, my baby, my niece & my home-assistant to accompany me. We had to wait for 2 hours for the result. And today, I decided to visit a doctor just to make sure what kind of diseases that attacked me. And I was shocked that virus is the attacker! And what makes me sad is that doctor said that I am not allowed to breastfeed my baby at least for next 5 days...(>.<)

And just half an hour ago, I pumped my breast-milk and I have to trash it. I felt very very sad and almost cried, but there's nothing I can do except that.. Usually after I pump my breast-milk (at home or at office), I always store it in storage bag and keep it in the freezer. But today and for the next 5 days, I won't allowed to do that. I have to trash it after I pump.. Hiks.. I just can pray that this virus go away sooner and my body back to health again and my baby still wants to breastfeed to me.. Amen!